Allowing Yourself To Be Cared For

Allow: 

• Give someone permission to do something
• Give the necessary time or opportunity for
• Provide or set aside (a specified amount of something) for a specific purpose

A couple of weeks ago a client was about 15 minutes into her session when she shared how unique it was to just lay back on a table and allow me to take over in caring for her, for an hour. That she didn't have to do, think, say or be anything. She just had to allow. I've thought about those remarks often since then and wondered what it is that blocks people from just allowing themselves to be cared for.

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Time, trust and control are, I think, perhaps the biggest factors. Time means that you may have to take it away from another obligation and give it to yourself, and that can bring up the question of deservability. Do you deserve to take the time to allow yourself to be cared for? The answer is always Yes! You do. All of the other obligations will continue and a pampered you will have more energy to meet them.

Then there is trust. A stranger, perhaps, is suggesting that you lay down on a table, in an enclosed room, and let them touch you. You don't know yet if I have the skills, integrity and experience that you're expecting. Skills and experience aside, you also don't know if I have the "touch". Which is as important in sharing holistic modalities as is the textbook knowledge. Placing yourself in that vulnerable position takes courage and I acknowledge that.

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However, I believe the biggest block is control. Relinquishing control and allowing another to take over in providing you with care. As humans we try to control what is going on in our lives despite life showing us all the time that we really don't have much control. Loss of control can be scary, but when you think about it, it occurs often in your lifetime. 

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From my own experiences, I do the research online in looking for a practitioner that has the training, skills and experience for the type of modality that I'm looking for. I check their reviews to see how others have benefited from their sessions. As a practitioner I am really picky.

​During my first appointment I'm making sure that they are really listening and that they are applying their training in a way that is comfortable to me. And yes, there has to be a connection or positive vibe between us. I know myself well enough to know that I don't like "cookie cutter" sessions...same treatment for everybody, but instead want to work with someone who treats me as an individual. Once I've found that practitioner and have had a couple of sessions with them, only then can I completely allow

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Holding onto control creates stress in your body, mind and spirit. It can mean never allowing yourself to be truly relaxed or at peace. What do you think would happen if you just let go for 60 minutes? 

I know, from working with clients like those mentioned in the beginning of this blog, relinquishing control could mean

• That your Muscles would lose a lot of their tension, your mind would probably wander or day dream and your spirit would be aligning with something good for you
• That in that relaxed space for body, mind and spirit, your being would reset to allow it's innate natural healing abilities to take over
• That it is likely that any stressors or worries would resolve in more creative ways than your stressed mind was able to come up with
• That your Nervous System would calm and your Vagus Nerve would become more toned
• That allowing this reset would bring you greater energy and vitality for life's obligations
• ​That in taking those steps you develop a greater sense of trust and faith in your own judgement and decision making

I suggest that you take the time to check in with your own whys around not allowing others to care for you. Chat with your practitioner about what you may need to feel safer and more comfortable. You do deserve to be cared for, despite all the reasons you come up with for why you don't. I will meet you where you are.

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The Vulnerability in Letting Go